The image issue - Saying NO to self-deprecation

There's a very subtle conversation among females that advocates not accepting the natural changes your body goes through at different ages. It's led by the weight loss campaigns, fashion world and the general glorification of a particular sized woman. Unfortunately it's been radically successful in getting females of ALL ages to keep striving towards an ever elusive weight, size and image.

The internal conversations we have with ourselves are seriously cray cray: "I lost 20 lbs, well maybe I could lose 20 more... 20 lbs later: I've lost that 20 lbs maybe I should get implants..." BUT WHY? because you're still not good enough as you are?

I've come to realise accepting all the changes in my body has to be a CHOICE I MAKE for myself. Easier said than done, but it's my body and by not accepting and loving the changes it's the same as saying something's wrong with me - my piss would boil if I was overlooked for something strictly based on my physical profile. If and when this happens in real life we class that as discrimination, chauvinism etc. So why... WHY would I in the most roundabout way implant the messages that my body's not good enough and I'm not good enough in my brain and have the mirror be a reminder of that message?!


Girls we just must stop this! Thankfully it's not a problem for all females and for these females please make your voices heard to your girlfriends. You have more of an impact than you could ever know. There's a recipe out there for self hate and it's causing a lot of unnecessary insecurities in our girl power flow. Being comfortable and happy in your skin is for YOU. It's not just because confidence is sexy.

Self-deprecating is so easy when it should be the opposite. Ladies of all sizes, let's embrace our differences and love our growth you'll never be this current version of yourself again, make it count - LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT, it's a choice after all.

xoxoxo

Girlfriends= Priceless Gems

Have you ever noticed how re-energized you feel after hanging out with girlfriends. Simply being out with the girls after going without them for an extended period of time just reminds you that "there's nothing like girl time." The extra pep in your step the next day, the getting dressed up to go out, the incredible urge to just be the most gorgeous you!                                                                                                                                                                                                     Let me tell you something, girlfriends, chit chat, great food, music, dancing, vino...it all adds up to an amazing time. My girlfriends just gave me a dose of energy and it feels good... I didn't even realise how much I was missing it! Make time for your girlies, it'll make your world an even brighter place! Promise ;)

I was just reading an article in the New York Times online, link below:

 http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/12/us/politics/12biden.html?_r=1&hp

Read through it and you will find this quote:

“Biden brings everything that Rahm Emanuel brings, but the major difference is everyone likes Joe Biden.”


I sat down and thought about that for a moment. For any one of us that has the desire to be successful we all know we have to put in some hard work and effort. Nothing is given so you work and you achieve. There is something you don't really have to work at unless you are socially challenged like myself ;). And that is, being YOU, having that likeability factor. Which when coupled with hard work can take you further than hard work alone. So plaingirls are you likeable without the effort, or working hard but need some help in the personality department? Which ever it is, let's find some balance and go get 'em!

Just a little sunday morning inspiration...
Kisses!

Where have you been?...Soul mate

Hey pg's it's been a while I know. Two words, HECTIC + TIMES. The good news is it's over now and the blog can live again.

The other day I was watching an episode from Sex in the City and the girls were chatting about the infamous term "soul mate". Each of the girls had their own personal take on the term, one expressed deeply romantic sentiments about the term as she believed it existed while another felt there were multiple soul mates that a person could have and refrained from the belief that soul mates were confined to a binary assortment of souls in the world. Finally the last of the girls felt that she wasn't even sure if soul mates even exist? or what the term really is? which reminded me of where I once was on this term.

The episode had the most pleasing close to it, one that truly touched home for me. I think the girls got it right, a soul mate shouldn't be restricted to just being about a partner. Like them I think I have found soul mates in my girlfriends. I mean really think about that for a second. Your closest friend(s) some of whom know you since you've been a child have come to know you like the back of their hand. They know you even more than your life partner in many ways AND while you hope and believe that things will work out between the HIM in your life, you never hope that your closest friend(s) will be there for the rest of your life because they're tried and true, and fights, awful terrible ones on numerous occasions throughout your lifetime together have left you inseparable and still completely bound to each other. I mean, what's more soul mate than that!?!

Cheers, to my two soulmates you know who you are, love yous twos ;)

Hit the clip, it picks up at the end of the day on Carrie's birthday..:)

It's not how often you fight but HOW you fight!

Today's talk is on keeping the fights clean in your relationships. I know many of us think that fighting is a bad sign but let's face the truth, fighting is part and parcel with destiny, you do it with your best-friends and family members, so why would it be any different with your partner. According to the experts in Cosmo

"Conflict is inevitable, but nasty behavior, like finger-pointing and name-calling, it shows contempt for each other, and that's sulfuric acid for love" -John Gottman

John threw out some useful defusing methods for us,

Try saying, "I can understand why you'd be mad." And when things get out of control be quick to restore peace, THAT MEANS, be quick to apologize, then laugh or touch him to cut the tension, says Gottman. These actions tell the other person that, no matter what you disagree about you're still on the same team!

According to Cosmo, "if you confront problems head-on and in a way that conveys respect, you can actually get closer during a fight." Sounds crazy but it's probably true! I know what it's like, you've lost all semblance of cool, and you're fire hot cuz dude just cancelled or dude just behaved so damn inconsiderate by leaving the table while you were still eating to watch tv, or dude just has no patience whatsoever with how you feel about something.... yes, dude!

Gottman says, "Research shows that the most successful couples use something called the soft start-up when they argue." Picture the scenario, he's 'suddenly bailed on meeting you and your friends for dinner one night. Instead of blurting out "You're a total douche bag for not showing up!" go with "Hey, what happened? I was upset that you cancelled like that"

So! Beware of salty, peppery words used while fighting, it's bad for your relationships' health, use words that nourish and preserve your relationship even through your volatile interaction.

Don't you just love Cosmo! It's so helpful, if you want to read the article yourself, check out Cosmo's March 2010 issue's Habits of Crazy-in-Love Couples.

Happy Valentine's Day!

So it's that time again! Well how about some V-day laughter then, I mean I get the feeling it's taken a bit too seriously sometimes, Ashton Kutcher is right on the money if you ask me:

"I hate Valentine's Day, I think every Day should be a Day of romance. Then, on Valentine's Day , you should get to tell whoever you hate that you cannot stand them. There would be one Day of hating, and 364 Days of love."- Ashton Kutcher

"I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV."- Tracy Smith

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.-Anonymous

If love is blind why is Valentine's Day so popular!- Anonymous

"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked."- Erich Segal

"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."-Jules Renard


So don't forget it's live, love, LAUGH on Valentine's Day! And everyone has a Valentine, because we all have people we love and love us back! V-day is NOT RESERVED for couples, but it is reserved for LOVE and that we've got in abundance, so have an Apple Martini for the plaingirls today. Much love! ;)

First time: Am I pregnant????

Do you realize how easy it is to have not been born?....... To simply not exist?

Imagine that you were the sperm and egg marked for conception in today's world... You would easily have been erased by the morning after pill, some abortion clinician or most probably by time, by the wrong time. It's amazing to realize that your existence could very well have been prevented by undeveloped scientific discovery, in other words you simply and literally are in more ways than you think a product of your time and generation.

On the other hand, you could also very well be a product of a timeless female instinct that harps on protecting the idea of a life inside her. I'm not excluding the males in the picture because they aren't important, but I do realize now that the genesis of the actual act of keeping a child is with the mother. This week I walked down an interesting road filled with contemplation of having a child. What a tremendous decision.

What a tremendous decision? It was weird that this question popped in my head, seeing as I have always thought that I am pro-life and very against the idea of abortion. Yet, in the moment where the idea of having a child was seeming to be a reality, I thought what a tremendous decision? It was a decision, I realized and accepted that I had a choice to make! It blew me away! All of a sudden everything that I had championed for had taken a back seat and I considered an alternative, perhaps not as seriously as I could have imagined but I feel now, that I have traveled down the road of someone that could make the decision.

I feel that I do realize now that it's not the easy or absolute NO that I once thought it was. It's an amazing period of contemplation really, because by the time I had accepted the idea of being pregnant, I was more concerned with having emotions that could show the baby that it was wanted rather than the contrary. I became strong for me and the possible child and believe it or not I put aside my personal future plans, for an uncertain future that I would take one day at a time. Crazy isn't it?!?