Life Quote

Confidence is sexy. Remember that.

Smh...what would you do if your ex was a kiss and tell....and then some!

Well this would be the expression used to describe the infamous John Mayer! Who would have known? Not me! I read his interview with Playboy Magazine recently, and I have to admit I felt flabagasted! I felt like I was reading the words of someone that must have been high (and I don't mean on life!) whatever I was thinking while reading can be summed up to me coming to terms with the stark difference in reality and the picture I had somehow formulated of the type of person I thought he was! (without ever meeting him...) BTW pple I strongly urge you if you hadn't already to completely separate your musical likes and dislikes with the people or person delivering the music!

From using the n-word, to fully launching operation kiss n tell to likening his dick to a white supremacist John Mayer equals not what I think/thought! Apparently he has had a reputation for being a douche (something again that I never knew) but I don't think I'd have crucified him for that. Anyway, as I stated before after reading the full interview, the question came to mind, how would I feel if I had an ex who told all to Tom, Dick, Harry AND Wilemena. I mean talk about invasion of privacy!
Now it seems to me that John is giving Jessica three thumbs up which I guess can be taken as a compliment but WHAT IF he was giving her bad reviews in public, would that make his comments less appropriate?! Do you think the type of review given determines how the ex feels? Anyhew ladies, give me your take!

Here's some of what John was saying:

PLAYBOY: You were addicted to Jessica Simpson?
MAYER: Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.
PLAYBOY: But before you dated her you thought of yourself as the kind of guy who would never date Jessica Simpson.
MAYER: That’s correct. There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did youever say, “I want to quit my life and just fuckin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.”
PLAYBOY: So at this point—
MAYER: Pardon me for interrupting. I love Jen so much that I’m now thinking about how bad I would feel if she read this and was like, “Why are you putting me in an article where you’re talking about someone else? I don’t want to be in your lineage of kiss-and-tells.”

Now it seems to me that John is giving Jessica three thumbs up which I guess can be taken as a compliment but WHAT IF he was giving her bad reviews in public, would that make his comments less appropriate?! Do you think the type of review given determines how the ex feels? Anyhew ladies, give me your take!

Happy Valentine's Day!

So it's that time again! Well how about some V-day laughter then, I mean I get the feeling it's taken a bit too seriously sometimes, Ashton Kutcher is right on the money if you ask me:

"I hate Valentine's Day, I think every Day should be a Day of romance. Then, on Valentine's Day , you should get to tell whoever you hate that you cannot stand them. There would be one Day of hating, and 364 Days of love."- Ashton Kutcher

"I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV."- Tracy Smith

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.-Anonymous

If love is blind why is Valentine's Day so popular!- Anonymous

"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked."- Erich Segal

"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."-Jules Renard


So don't forget it's live, love, LAUGH on Valentine's Day! And everyone has a Valentine, because we all have people we love and love us back! V-day is NOT RESERVED for couples, but it is reserved for LOVE and that we've got in abundance, so have an Apple Martini for the plaingirls today. Much love! ;)

Culprit or Victim - sex with pple in the room?!?!

Culprit or victim? That is the question! I figured since we're on the topic of you in the backdrop and other people having sex I'd bring this one up for a quickie.

In my experience, I was knocked out, sleeping, I'm not a light sleeper but I get up if there's enough activity around me. Well, the activity in the room woke me up alright, it woke me into a direct, and I mean DIRECT, state of shock! To nonchalantly address the awkward situation at the time, I changed positions from my back to my side hoping that this would create a signficant enough amount of doubt that I was possibly NOT sound asleep. It worked for literally 3 mins before I heard that terrible sound of pple slapping skins again. At which point having been scarred enough by my initial awakening, I just got up and slept in the living room. (which by the way is something I would have volunteered to do if only I was asked to in the first place.)

I mean, I just can't help but wonder if I just may not be the only one in the world who has been a victim of this uncoth behaviour. Yes, that's right, I don't support this, as a matter of fact I might be a tad bit bitter about it in some ways. WTH is up with that, c'mon man, it's not cool, seriously! I mean which two pple do that! How horny can you be? (it's a rhetorical question and the ans. is/should be not THAT horny)

Ok so I'm not exactly leaving room for a neutral expression of my own on the topic today, but I simply cannot condone two grown folks (yes, folks lol) having full out, "shhh, wait let me put on the fan before we wake her" -sex in the damn room while I'm asleep... well more like trying to sleep cuz you jack-malantins just woke me up with ur foolishness! I see red just recalling the experience. So stepping away from the replay of the memory what are we left with? (besides unchecked rage)

Questions really! Just like other females on my side of the fence you are generally left with questions that sound like this: What in the world kinda shit is that? Why would they do that when I'm in the room? Isn't that over the top? Did I miss a code between friends? Was I expected to pretend to be asleep so they could finish? How am I expected to feel after that? I know on Real World and these reality shows where numerous pple share quarters you see pple having sex with others present, but is that normal, am I overreacting?

...Exactly, it's crazy I know, but shit seems disturbing damnit! So tell me plain girls, let's talk, who's having sex with pple in the room?

Loud sex

Are you someone that gets loud when you have sex?

At the moment, I live in an apt blg and I have the LOUDEST sex having neighbors I have ever had in my life! Ever. Which brings me to the topic at hand. Now I am admittedly not qualified to speak for those of us having loud boisterous sex because while I do moan and groan, and even have the occasional over the top uncontrollable outburst (eg. being slapped b/n the knees w a head induced orgasm), I wouldn't identify myself as a loud person in the bed.

At my doc's office the other day, I was having a PAP test, it was my first time, and I guess being unfamiliar with foreign things in that area (well it depends on how u look at it!) I yelped a couple times (yes, I used the word yelped, I know, probably cud do better!) Geez, it was just a couple times, and as it happens when I get nervous I laugh out loud at everything and anything. At the end, my doc asked me quite frankly, "do you make noise like that when you have sex?" (o/O)

Well I told her what you already know from reading this post, and I filled her in on my neighbors, to which she responded "YUCK! that's just yuck, that's not necessary!" Now I'm not trying to be mean with my post or exclude anyone reading, because the reality is, I hear this woman upstairs groan or moan or whatever it is that she's doing, at the most inopportune times of night and day, so it quite clearly seems to be necessary FOR HER. I am, however, ambivalent about whether she is faking for the man, or in pain or really and truly just can't help it! I mean, to each his own!

In the same vein though, I have to admit I feel very uncomfortable having to be in my bedroom involuntarily listening to this woman. In the beginning, when it first happened I thought to myself, well something must be appealing to her man about this so I asked my boo if that was a turn on, and he honestly said "yea, but I wouldn't like it if you did it when we were having sex, it would probably freak me out!" Then it hit me like a ton of bricks...... her man is probably turned on by this, and in later weeks after even hearing him join in the damn grunting session I realized well, someway, somehow, this seems to work for them! (SHOCK AND AWE!)

Well anyway, I've decided that it might be inappropriate and well, a BIG bit much, to knock on the door and converse with these two to find out, why out of the entire blg they are the only ones having sex for everyone to hear?! So, I decided to raise the question here, is noise really a necessary part of sex for some pple or is it a sign of faking?.... I mean... what's going on there?

Fellas

Bossip article:
Okay fellas, so we’ve written a few pieces for the ladies and suggested ways to turn the heat up in the bedroom, but guess what! You can do it too! Women have fantasies that are just as wild and, in some cases, nastier than a lot of men could imagine! So why not explore the possibilities of making them real? Sometimes it’s as simple as a man stepping out of his comfort zone and trying something a little different that goes against his everyday demeanor. Other times it’s a simple as reminding your lady just how much of a man you are … caveman style! So don’t be shy guys, pay attention to your lady because she’s probably hinted around or revealed some of her desires. For example, the muscly UPS man that she side-eyed as he effortlessly tossed massive boxes on his shoulder followed by an almost inaudible “mm hmm” under her breath. Keep your eyes and ears open at all times and unleash a new realm of excitement in the bedroom!

Be Obvious - the next time you’re with your lady in a public setting like a party or social function, don’t hold back the seductive looks. No matter who’s around and who’s watching, keep your eyes on her and her every move. It should read: you’re gonna get it when we get home. When you’re close to her, be sure to give her buns a smooth graze to heighten the anticipation. She’ll relish in the bold and undivided attention you’re giving coupled with excitement by the thoughts of being devoured by you! Remember, body language speaks louder than words!

Play the Role - let’s go back to the UPS man referenced above. There’s something about a man in uniform that is a turn-on for so many women. If you’re the guy that wears a suit and tie everyday, this would be welcomed change, if even just for one night. Find yourself a uniform of some sort or put one together with your own wardrobe, like a construction worker, fireman or a man that works with is hands kind of feel. Show up at her door and deliver the goods. You can’t go wrong with a wifebeater and hardhat, she may not want even you to take them off!

Element of Surprise and Silence - this always works. Communicate with your lady throughout the day as if you would any other day and make plans to see her. When you get to the door or she gets to yours, say nothing, grab her up, throw her over your shoulder, carry her to the bedroom and have your way with her. She won’t be able to resist the manishness you’ve displayed!

Set Her Up - nothing aggravates women more than an unsuspected “favor” that is simply inconvenient! Call her up and ask her to do you an urgent solid of some sort. For example, “baby can you please to go to my house as soon as possible! I can’t find my … I need you to go get it and bring it to me, please,” or something along those lines. Be creative. She’ll be done away with your absent minded antics but that’s okay because you’ll be there waiting on her to unleash her aggression on you! That’s a win, win!

Be Daring - location, location, location! There is nothing wrong with switching it up from time to time, in terms of being confined to house to indulge! The next time you go out with your lady, make a point to be a little edgy and try for some public action. Let her know you have to have her right now. If you’re riding in the car, pull over somewhere. If you’re at a party, find a quiet hallway or bathroom and throw her up against a wall! Be creative and most of all quiet!

Romance - it never fails. Women love romance! Call her up and ask her to come cook for you. Tell her you’ve bought everything she needs and you’re waiting for her to come prepare your meal. When she gets there, surprise her by having the food hot and ready, candles lit, soft music playing and her favorite wine waiting for her. Serve her as she would serve you and make the night about her. Draw her a bath (it’s okay to join her) and have a sexy set of panties you’ve bought for her waiting on the bed when she gets out. Now that you’ve put in work, she’ll be more than delighted to return the gift of giving!

Okay fellas, this should initiate some creative thought for you to heat things up in the bedroom! She’ll be wowed by your erotic ambitions and be more than willing to participate!

Let's Play Dress-Up?

Ok ladies...so all of the Halloween festivities has got me thinking.
Now we all talk about toys, and being less inhibited in bed, talking dirty and what have you. But we never really touched on dressing up, wearing some exceedingly sexy get-up for our men, lovers, whatever you wanna call them.

I'm more conservative than most when it comes to my daily attire, butI love nothing more than a freaky ass freak outfit. And even though my friends think I tend to be the sexier of the bunch, I'm still not as overtly sexy as some women. However, in the bedroom, I'm the complete opposite. Yes. The more whore-ish the better. Give me red platform heels, fishnets, a pair of bright red lips and messy hair - preferably in pigtails. Yes, a whore in pigtails.....you get the picture!!


Something is very arousing about being in character, and no, I'm not suggesting dressing as a whore for some random stranger. But being your man's little dirty slut!!! Fulfilling his fantasies and being that little freak-nasty that he looks at so much on the pornos. It's all about the fantasy right?? I believe it's ok to push the limits, so that we ladies don't get bored and keep our men interested. And of course this requires us to be uninhibited and just let our inner vixens free. I dare you; you might be surprised at what comes out. For the ones that can't quite let loose, I suggest a nice tall glass of red wine right before. I guarantee it will loosen you right up.

Remember the ELEMENT of surprise. The idea of role-playing is very sexy, and it's just funny how we let something as simple as dressing up for some bedroom fun get left behind. I know Halloween is over, but let's not let that stop us, from getting a little freaky costume, or costumes. Be sure to let PlainGirls know how things turned out.

Hmmmmm...I wonder, if we did play out those characters at home, be his at-home playboy bunny, would he even need to watch a porn flick? What say you??